Friday, October 30, 2009

The day of the dead

Writing blog entries is both a blessing and a curse. Let's start with the blessing part. I particularly like the fact that I have put all my thoughts into phrases that helps me to structure them and to come to an conclusion. It's also positive to have all the brilliant, exiting, interesting, boring, and mundane ideas in a safe and cozy place. So that's the upside of blogging but there are issues that are neither good nor bad and one part is about sharing all the ideas. Whatever I write in here is read from my friends and family therefore I don't want to write about certain topics, my mind is focusing on a lot, to avoid hurting someone's feelings or at least to avoid endless discussions. Opening a door into my life by publishing what I do, like, buy, hate, fear also showed me that it has an impact on other people. After being diagnosed with SHL (sudden hearing loss) I didn't feel that sharing ideas would be wise and stopped writing posts. I never expected my mother to start worrying because of missing post in my blog but I'm very thankful for all the support I got.
When I wrote most of the lines in advance I never expected this post to end like this. I intended to write a half humanistic and half ironic post to let all of you know that I thought I found a way to rebalance my life. Unfortunately life itself doesn't seem to be balanced at all. Throughout the passed years there had been better times and worser ones. Today will be one of the worser ones. I've never been good in giving up or letting things go but there is one particular event in life were you have no other chance than to accept what happened. Death. I've often thought about death, the meaning of live and why all living things need to die sooner or later, but I never thought that I would loose my father so soon. I rather saw us fighting about ridiculous topics like conventional versus ecological farming. Coincidently, I talked about death a lot today because of the upcoming festival of the dead which is celebrated in Mexico. It's a fair like holiday where all people commemorate the loved ones who passed away.
I'm not even close to a neutral feeling right now. Thus if you don't find any further post in here I just didn't find anything nice enough to write about......

Rest in peace father.